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Poverty has been around for all of human history — sometimes it seems like the poor are always with us. Obviously, this makes having any empathy for them really expensive, especially given the price of gas, groceries, and soy lattes nowadays.
But did you know there are some top-secret, pro-level tactics you can use to get out of helping the poor? We at the Babylon Bee have spent dozens of minutes interviewing top misers around the globe and come up with the 8 best ways to get out of helping the poor. Take a look!
Be poor: It’s a tried and true tactic.
Vote for Democrats so they can steal from your neighbor and take care of the poor for you: Super easy, and it feels great.
Solve poverty by wearing a “Stop Being Poor” shirt: It’s stunning that no one …