Biden Bummed To Real­ize That All He Had To Do To Stay In Race Was Not Show Up To Debate And Nev­er Speak To Reporters Ever

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The most pop­u­lar Amer­i­can pres­i­dent in human mem­o­ry was “incred­i­bly bummed” to real­ize that he could have stayed in the pres­i­den­tial race if he had just not answered ques­tions or nev­er once spo­ken to the media.
“Wha…did that broad just get my place — you know, the thing — by not talk­ing to the press?” Biden report­ed­ly stut­tered in frus­tra­tion. “Like, well…come on, Jack! I only had one job and I blew it…well…anyway.”
Accord­ing to sources with­in …